


Inside

by Mjazilem



Category: 12 Monkeys
Genre: Bonding, Brotp, Mental Institution, PTSD, Serious Conversation, Talk of mental illness, Triggers, possible triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-24
Updated: 2015-02-24
Packaged: 2018-03-14 23:02:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3428747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mjazilem/pseuds/Mjazilem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cole's back from his trip to the mental institution, and he's learned about more than just the night room. This is something not for the debriefing this is something Cole would only discuss with his brother</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inside

**Author's Note:**

> This is a conversation I thought might be interesting to see between Cole and Ramse. Warning: this is a discussion that includes talk about mental illness between two people who don't have a good understanding or sensitivities towards mental illness. Any ableist sentiment involved is not shared by the author.

When he'd first splintered back to 2043 he had been preoccupied with sharing all the information he'd gotten about Jennifer and the night room. All that had been on his mind were the few interacting with her and the tall scarred man that took her. Now that the debriefing was over and he could relax and let Jones and her people focus on the mission for a little while instead of him his mind started to replay all the other parts of the trip in his head. 

He sat in the room he shared with Ramse sunk down into one of the cushioned chairs that he had made Ramse come scrounging with him for. It had totally been worth dragging all the way across the compound it had become his favorite spot recently.

As he sat staring off at nothing with his legs sprawled out in front of him,his trip came back to him. There was Cassie with the file he'd been looking for, Cassie taking time to check him over after they'd gotten back to her place and Cassie in her glasses when she found him. 

She'd found him. He'd been shocked and relieved to see her come out of that elevator. She had explained later that finding him had something to do with her ex looking into him and luck that he'd been at the address he'd had on him when he was in North Korea. He thought even with the luck Cassie had been really resourceful coming in there paperwork in hand. She was really smart. 

"Hey what ya thinking about man?" Ramse asked from the doorway of the room. "You thinking about her?"

"What man, no." Cole tried to play it cool and not show he was flustered that Ramse guessed. 

"Yeah right man I only stood there a second looking at you, you were practically shouting her name with your eyes." 

"Yeah ok." Cole rolled his eyes. He knew that Ramse knew him better than anybody and was totally able to read him like 99% of the time which was infuriating but he was ok with it cause Ramse was his brother. 

After this last trip though he wondered if he had too much written on his face. 

"So you thinking about the trip then?" 

"Yeah"

"No fancy hotels for you this time, you'll have to make a complaint."

"I didn't even get to enjoy that one I was at during the first trip I was passed out the whole time."

"How were the accommodations at the institution?"

"They restrained me to the bed but the food was still better than here." 

"And you only had to get punched in the face to get in." Ramse joked. Cole laughed but thought about the beating from the North Koreans, punching and losing to the cops and the fighting in the county jail. He absent mindedly rubbed at his sore knuckles. He'd done more than just get punched in the face to get into JD Peoples. 

Ramse watched as Cole got pensive and tried to lighten the mood. "Well three hots and cot even one with restraints ain't bad. Were there any hot nurses?"

"I was a little to busy to notice."

"Aaahhh to busy, really? What, did they fill up your days with group sessions and electro shock therapy?"

"What are you talking about electro shock?" Cole raised his eyebrows questioningly at Ramse. Ramse knew from the look on Cole's face that he'd need to explain.

"They would hook mental patients up to machines with electrodes and wires to the head and shock them to make their brains work right." Ramse remembered a great uncle on his mother's side who people had said had gotten the shock treatment. The guy had been off. 

Cole found it hard to believe "that can't be right, how's that gonna help anyone?" 

"Like jumping a car man. Give the battery a jolt and the car will run alright for a little while. Ask Jones she'll tell you doctors used to do that shit to people."

Cole thought about the people he'd seen in the institution, he didn't see anyone that looked like they'd been electrocuted and he couldn't see how that would have help any of them. He wondered if Jennifer had every been treated like that.

He had been surprised how many mentally ill people had been in that institution. There was part of him that had been surprised that there were even crazy people in 2015. He'd wonder what had happened in their lives that had made them broken that way. 

Cole had seen people who'd lost their minds after the plague. That to him definitely seemed like something to loose your mind over. 

He'd always felt bad for the ones who lost it but he'd also always thought that it ment they were just too weak to make it. 

"So no shock treatment, did they at least shirk your head? Did you tell them you were from the future and that 'the end is nigh'?" Ramse laughed at his own joke and Cole groaned 

"I was trying to get in not be locked up somewhere then have the key thrown away. I put on a good show. I did some shouting and some spitting." Cole thought his performance had been pretty accurate. 

"Oh like that guy...that guy we ran into a few years ago."

"Yeah him, you remember that guy."

"Oh man he was batshit, I don't know how that guy made it as far as he did."

"I know right."

"I wonder what happened to him..." Ramse let the question drop off they both had a good idea of most likely happened to him. 

"Anyway so you were acting all crazy and they bought it. That's wild. I can just picture it those 2015 doctors probably didn't know what to do with you." 

Cole laughed but it was obvious to Ramse that Cole was just playing along. That something was bothering him. 

Ramse sat quietly waiting patiently as Cole's mood shifted. He was good a picking up on Cole's emotions and he had a feeling his brother was about to get serious. 

Cole was hesitant to talk about what was on his mind but he needed to talk about it or it would drive him truly crazy. 

"Brother in there, with those head shrink doctors man it was like for all the show I was putting on those doctors looked at me and saw inside me. The things they said, it was eerie." 

"Hey man, don't let it get to you. I'm sure they were just running their mouths talking about nothing like egg heads do." 

Cole nodded but he wasn't so sure, he'd sat down with the doctor at the County jail and laid it on thick. But it hadn't been the spitting or the yelling he had focused on. The things that Cole had been putting on it was the fighting and the aggression things that were apart of Cole, things he wasn't putting on a show about that the Doctor had based his evaluation on. 

"Have you heard of PTSD before?" Cole asked in a quiet voice the one that always reminded Ramse of the young boy he'd first met. 

"Hum yeah I've heard of that. It's traumatic stress something. It was in the news a lot when the plague first started, something like soldiers and aid workers trying to help in quarantine zones would get it. Why?" It was Ramse's turn to hitch an eyebrow at Cole. 

"It's Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and the doctors said I've got signs of it." Cole watched Ramse closely waiting to see what his reaction would be. 

Ramse decided to go with humor. "What signs. What? You don't have a disorder. I think I'd know I'm the one who lives with you." 

"Well yeah." 

"You're not going around barking like a dog or thinking you're Elvis, non that would be a disorder."

"Haha yeah." Cole chuckled he had a veg idea of who Elvis was. "It's just it was explained that my aggression comes from past traumas and I didn't have a lot of time to read but what I did see sounded a lot like me, startles easily, aggression, avoids talking about the trauma, nightmares." 

Ramse nodded he knew all of that and probably more of the symptoms applied to Cole and probably himself and most the people they knew. "This is what I think. I think we are living in a Post traumatic world and what was a disorder in 2015 is what helps you stay alive in 2043."

Cole hadn't thought about it that way. He'd been so consumed with the fact that there was a name for so many if things he was feeling and going through that he had thought the 2015 doctors must understand something that he did."

"We're survivors man and we're gonna keep on surviving until you complete your mission."

"Yeah." Cole smiled, Ramse was good at saying the right thing. 

"And brother you know if you ever need to talk about this or a girl or a nightmare I'll be here for you just like I always have been."

"Thanks" 

"Now speaking about girls..."

Cole laughed "I wasn't speaking about girls."

"No but I was, how much did you stare at Dr. Railly when she was springing you from the nut house." Cole shook his head in mock exasperation. 

"Don't lie to me I know you were staring your jaw was probably on the floor. You got it bad man."


End file.
